L'Amicizia

Amicizia. Dal greco φιλία, indica una comunità tra due o più persone, unite da affetti e da interessi, ispirata da affinità di sentimenti e da reciproca stima.
Per me, il vero tipo di amicizia è quello tra le persone che sono unite dagli affetti, affetti di quelli sinceri...perché prima o poi gli interessi materiali si esauriscono, o per un motivo o per un altro, e con essi anche i rapporti che vi erano legati. Gli affetti, al contrario, tendono a durare nel tempo (salvo eccezioni ovviamente!), e permettono di creare legami veri e duraturi.
Questo non vuole essere l'ennesimo post dove si pretende di parlare di amicizia in modo assoluto, o di dare consigli; il mio vuole essere semplicemente un ringraziamento pubblico a quelle persone che per me ci sono sempre, malgrado i miei sbalzi d'umore, malgrado i miei giorni 'no' e malgrado tante altre cose...Non sono moltissime, non possono mai essere troppe le persone su cui si può realmente fare affidamento, per forza di cose, però quelle che ci sono, si devono tenere strette, perché sono preziose! Ne ho avuto la conferma proprio in questi giorni, in occasione del mio compleanno quando, due di quelle che posso considerare tra le mie più care amiche hanno deciso di presentarsi a casa mia con una sorpresa, malgrado io avessi detto piuttosto chiaramente di non voler uscire, festeggiare o altro... 
E' da cose come queste che si capisce quando e quanto qualcuno ci tenga a te, quanto sia disposto a fare per farti spuntare un sorriso sul viso anche nei momenti in cui l'unica cosa che vorresti è stare al buio e in solitudine. Io ho la fortuna di avere al mio fianco delle persone così, che ci sono per me, sempre, malgrado le litigate, malgrado tutto, sempre. Gli amici sono quelle persone che ci stanno accanto quando rompiamo con il nostro fidanzat@; che si su(o)pportano prima di sostenere un esame all'università; sono quelli che chiamiamo per andare a bere una birra al pub, e con cui fare cose più o meno stupide che rimarranno per sempre nell'album degli aneddoti storici! Indubbiamente, non è sempre facile stringere amicizia con qualcuno, specie se si è timidi e un po' riservati. Io, al contrario, sono una di quelle che attaccherebbe bottone persino con un sasso su una collina deserta, per cui sicuramente per me non si è mai trattato di un problema conoscere altra gente, e magari costruire amicizie dal nulla. La cosa bella, però, è che 'ritorno' sempre da quelle persone che ci sono sempre state, perché comunque con loro ho condiviso tanto e mi sento a casa con loro, so di poter essere me stessa, senza maschere o finzioni, ed è una cosa bellissima!
Ho un po' perso di vista il concetto originario di questo post, ma poco importa, quello che volevo semplicemente dire era GRAZIE alle mie splendide amiche, perché ci sono sempre e perché senza di loro mi sentirei un po' più vuota... <3

Nutmeg^^

Melancholy (Eng)

Today is one of those days in which everything seems to go slow and inevitable, but at the same time fast and elusive. Today is one of those days in which I think a lot, and the only thing that comes to my mind is sadness, a deep sadness. This is what happens to me every time I have to leave a place to go back home, and maybe this is the reason why I don't like changing cities or countries anymore... maybe this is why I'd really wanted (and needed) to settle somewhere. I think what I'd really need is some stability, which I'm searching for a long time...
I'm writing once again from my little Spanish bed, where I'll sleep for the last time tonight, before going back to that place I've always called 'home'. Outside we have 29° and the air yoi breath is a mixture of both Spring and Summer, a mixture of those nights when you simply sit on a chair on a terrace or by the sea, just to enjoy the evening breeze. Well, right now the weather is exactly like that, as if Spain wants to leave me on the skin this memory, as if it was her goodbye...
Despite all of that, I'm having the same feeling of emptiness and sadness I had five years ago, when I left Spain for the first time and the only thing I was thinking was that would have been a farewell. Well, today, after five long years I'm thinking and feeling the exact same thing, and even if everyone is saying that Spain doesn't move and that I'll always be able to come back anytime I'd want to, to me this is another farewell, even harder than the previous one because this time I'm leaving here my heart, even if probably I'm the only one knowing that, considering how bad I am with words...The tears falling down my eyes are as warm and salty as the tears of every other person in the world, but I know mines have a different meaning right now, because they are my ouburst after months (or even years) of feelings that finally had found a meaning, but that will have to hide again inside me, maybe forever...
This experience has given me a lot, but at the same time it has taken away a lot as well, and I'm not speaking of material things, but of people - old or new it doesn't matter - who made part of my life and to who I must say a(n) (almost) farewell. I hate farewells because even if we try to keep the promise to speak, write or even see someone, then we broke it, wheter willingly or not...To these people I would like to say 'Thank you' for sharing with me part of them and for letting me share part of me with them, even for a short period of time...
If there's something I've learned to have, is the gratitude for all the things, the biggest but above all the smallest ones, because even if the majority of time we give them for granted, they are not granted at all (just give a look at the news). Considering the possibility that my flight could crash tomorrow allows me to understand that everything can changes any minutes, so I think the only thing I can do in order not to have any kind of regrets in the future, is telling to the people I care the most what I really think. First of all, I wanna thank alla the people who made part of my life, from the ones who were always there to the ones who have arrived through the time and yes, also to the ones who are already gone away, because they left me something anyway. Secondly, I wanna say 'I love you' to the people I haven't told it, or not enough, as if it was something obvious and granted, and I'm referring to my friends and girlfriends who have been always there for me, through the years throught the good times and the bad ones...Obviously my gratitude and my love (despite the normal and inevitable disagreement) go to my family, to which I owe the person I am today. 
A big 'thanks' goes also to the land that has fascinated me since the first moment I set foot on it; that made me grow up and experimenting things; the land that made me discover a complete different reality, opening my mind. But the biggest thanks I owe to her, is for the wonderful person I've met there, who will receive my 'I love you' if I was brave enough and if this were my last day on the earth...
 In conclusion, THANKS SPAIN, for everything... Even if I'm leaving you with both the heart and the eyes full of tears and sadness, I really hope this isn't gonna be a farewell, and if that really exist someone who is watching from up there, I'll be allowed to go back to you, this time to remain...

Happiness (Eng)

"Are you happy?"

How many times we were asked this question? How many times we give a fake answer..I think happiness is something evanescent and temporary, that simply represents a flash in everyone's life. We can achieve it in many ways: someone needs a simple smile; someone else needs material things instead. For some people, to be happy, a sunset it's enough, while others  need a big house. The main concept doesn't change: each one of us search for a condition of wellness, first of all with ourselves and then with the rest of the world.
I classify happiness in two categories: the one you can appreciate with the flowing of the time, and that maybe you recognize once you've lost it; and the one that is like a summer storm, that arrives in the life of the people unexpectedly. I'm not able to discern which one of them is the 'best', because each one of us has its own preferences; what I know is that in whichever way it arrives, it's worthed...
Personally, in this moment of my life, I don't think I can say I'm really happy, because I feel incomplete...Maybe only now, after 3 weeks away from home, I'm realizing it, but I miss my family. Following the daily rhythm of work helps keeping me busy both phisically and mentally, but then the littlest thing makes coming out everything...this is the reason behind these post, between the sad and the medidative, because this is what they are, considerations...
Living far away from home it's not easy, and I'm realizing it a bit more every day ; I'm not saying I'm living bad, but I cannot say it's easy staying that far away from home either. Sometimes I ask myself if this was the right decision to make, but then I think that sooner or later I had to take this step, so I try to be strong for me but also for my family.
Going back to the initial question, I don't think there are many people who could answer in a complete honest way; when it comes to our feelings we tend to wear a mask of illusory perfection that  reflects what the world expects from us, while on the contrary we all are immensely sad, unsatisfied...
Now my question is for you: are you happy?

Nutmeg

Considerations (Eng)

So here I am, once again under my blanket, doing some conisderations about this first Spanish week...
Well, new city, new house, new roomates and a new job; basically I'm the only 'old' thing here! When I started this adventure, I was so willing to leave and to put me on 'trial'...now I have so many questions in my mind, that I often feel a bit blue. Did I make the right choice? That's what I really wanted? I don't know actually which is the right answer, maybe because there isn't one and I'm supposed to do one step at the time...
Anyway, let's move on! I'm not entirely sure whether I like this new job or not, because right now I'm too busy trying to figure out wht to do, and more importantly, how to do it right! One thing I've notiched is the relationship among the people who work there, they seem all a big family, which I think it's quite amazing, since very often the working environments are really awful. 
Whoever enters the office immediately perceives the human warmth, and I myself I'm starting to feel accepted. Maybe it's because we're both ''Southern people'', or maybe it's just a matter of humanity, but, whatever is the explanation, the point is that I like it! Considerations about living together: generally speaking positive, even if (predictably) every day I notice the presence of cultural differences. 
My impressions about the city: totally positive! Yesterday I could enjoy the old Cordoba both during the day and the night, and it's simply amazing! For those who don't know it, Andalusia was under the strong Arabian influence, and especially in this part of the city, it clearly emerges from every spot of it! Here it's like the time has stopped passing by, I can feel it in the air, and so many are the tourists that every day arrive in this little oasis, to take pictures of the Roman bridge or to visit the European biggest mosque. Well, for those who still have doubts about visiting Cordoba, the answer is: definitely YES! :)