Today is one of those days in which everything seems to go slow and inevitable, but at the same time fast and elusive. Today is one of those days in which I think a lot, and the only thing that comes to my mind is sadness, a deep sadness. This is what happens to me every time I have to leave a place to go back home, and maybe this is the reason why I don't like changing cities or countries anymore... maybe this is why I'd really wanted (and needed) to settle somewhere. I think what I'd really need is some stability, which I'm searching for a long time...
I'm writing once again from my little Spanish bed, where I'll sleep for the last time tonight, before going back to that place I've always called 'home'. Outside we have 29° and the air yoi breath is a mixture of both Spring and Summer, a mixture of those nights when you simply sit on a chair on a terrace or by the sea, just to enjoy the evening breeze. Well, right now the weather is exactly like that, as if Spain wants to leave me on the skin this memory, as if it was her goodbye...
Despite all of that, I'm having the same feeling of emptiness and sadness I had five years ago, when I left Spain for the first time and the only thing I was thinking was that would have been a farewell. Well, today, after five long years I'm thinking and feeling the exact same thing, and even if everyone is saying that Spain doesn't move and that I'll always be able to come back anytime I'd want to, to me this is another farewell, even harder than the previous one because this time I'm leaving here my heart, even if probably I'm the only one knowing that, considering how bad I am with words...The tears falling down my eyes are as warm and salty as the tears of every other person in the world, but I know mines have a different meaning right now, because they are my ouburst after months (or even years) of feelings that finally had found a meaning, but that will have to hide again inside me, maybe forever...
This experience has given me a lot, but at the same time it has taken away a lot as well, and I'm not speaking of material things, but of people - old or new it doesn't matter - who made part of my life and to who I must say a(n) (almost) farewell. I hate farewells because even if we try to keep the promise to speak, write or even see someone, then we broke it, wheter willingly or not...To these people I would like to say 'Thank you' for sharing with me part of them and for letting me share part of me with them, even for a short period of time...
If there's something I've learned to have, is the gratitude for all the things, the biggest but above all the smallest ones, because even if the majority of time we give them for granted, they are not granted at all (just give a look at the news). Considering the possibility that my flight could crash tomorrow allows me to understand that everything can changes any minutes, so I think the only thing I can do in order not to have any kind of regrets in the future, is telling to the people I care the most what I really think. First of all, I wanna thank alla the people who made part of my life, from the ones who were always there to the ones who have arrived through the time and yes, also to the ones who are already gone away, because they left me something anyway. Secondly, I wanna say 'I love you' to the people I haven't told it, or not enough, as if it was something obvious and granted, and I'm referring to my friends and girlfriends who have been always there for me, through the years throught the good times and the bad ones...Obviously my gratitude and my love (despite the normal and inevitable disagreement) go to my family, to which I owe the person I am today.
A big 'thanks' goes also to the land that has fascinated me since the first moment I set foot on it; that made me grow up and experimenting things; the land that made me discover a complete different reality, opening my mind. But the biggest thanks I owe to her, is for the wonderful person I've met there, who will receive my 'I love you' if I was brave enough and if this were my last day on the earth...
In conclusion, THANKS SPAIN, for everything... Even if I'm leaving you with both the heart and the eyes full of tears and sadness, I really hope this isn't gonna be a farewell, and if that really exist someone who is watching from up there, I'll be allowed to go back to you, this time to remain...
I'm writing once again from my little Spanish bed, where I'll sleep for the last time tonight, before going back to that place I've always called 'home'. Outside we have 29° and the air yoi breath is a mixture of both Spring and Summer, a mixture of those nights when you simply sit on a chair on a terrace or by the sea, just to enjoy the evening breeze. Well, right now the weather is exactly like that, as if Spain wants to leave me on the skin this memory, as if it was her goodbye...
Despite all of that, I'm having the same feeling of emptiness and sadness I had five years ago, when I left Spain for the first time and the only thing I was thinking was that would have been a farewell. Well, today, after five long years I'm thinking and feeling the exact same thing, and even if everyone is saying that Spain doesn't move and that I'll always be able to come back anytime I'd want to, to me this is another farewell, even harder than the previous one because this time I'm leaving here my heart, even if probably I'm the only one knowing that, considering how bad I am with words...The tears falling down my eyes are as warm and salty as the tears of every other person in the world, but I know mines have a different meaning right now, because they are my ouburst after months (or even years) of feelings that finally had found a meaning, but that will have to hide again inside me, maybe forever...
This experience has given me a lot, but at the same time it has taken away a lot as well, and I'm not speaking of material things, but of people - old or new it doesn't matter - who made part of my life and to who I must say a(n) (almost) farewell. I hate farewells because even if we try to keep the promise to speak, write or even see someone, then we broke it, wheter willingly or not...To these people I would like to say 'Thank you' for sharing with me part of them and for letting me share part of me with them, even for a short period of time...
If there's something I've learned to have, is the gratitude for all the things, the biggest but above all the smallest ones, because even if the majority of time we give them for granted, they are not granted at all (just give a look at the news). Considering the possibility that my flight could crash tomorrow allows me to understand that everything can changes any minutes, so I think the only thing I can do in order not to have any kind of regrets in the future, is telling to the people I care the most what I really think. First of all, I wanna thank alla the people who made part of my life, from the ones who were always there to the ones who have arrived through the time and yes, also to the ones who are already gone away, because they left me something anyway. Secondly, I wanna say 'I love you' to the people I haven't told it, or not enough, as if it was something obvious and granted, and I'm referring to my friends and girlfriends who have been always there for me, through the years throught the good times and the bad ones...Obviously my gratitude and my love (despite the normal and inevitable disagreement) go to my family, to which I owe the person I am today.
A big 'thanks' goes also to the land that has fascinated me since the first moment I set foot on it; that made me grow up and experimenting things; the land that made me discover a complete different reality, opening my mind. But the biggest thanks I owe to her, is for the wonderful person I've met there, who will receive my 'I love you' if I was brave enough and if this were my last day on the earth...
In conclusion, THANKS SPAIN, for everything... Even if I'm leaving you with both the heart and the eyes full of tears and sadness, I really hope this isn't gonna be a farewell, and if that really exist someone who is watching from up there, I'll be allowed to go back to you, this time to remain...
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